Thursday, February 28, 2013

Friday Song to Do Bong Rips To

So many good things about this. Cello. Singing about weed and cannabis and hash for school credit. Shredding. Holy shit, how many bowls did these three best bros smoke learning to play this song together? That dude trying to do hair whips and failing. Still awesome though.I’m just gonna leave the wicked ass lyrics here:

Drop out of life with bong in hand
Follow the Smoke toward the Riff filled Land
Drop…out of life with bong in hand
Follow the Smoke toward the Riff filled Land

Proceeds the Weedian – Nazareth
Proceeds the Weedian – Nazareth

Creedsmen roll out across the dying dawn
Sacred Israel Holy Mountain Zion
Sun beams down on to the Sandsea reigns
Caravan migrates through deep sandscape
Lungsmen unearth the creed of Hasheeshian
Procession of the Weed-Priests to cross the sands
Desert Legion Smoke-Covenant is complete
Herb bails retied on to backs of beasts
Arise arise arise - The Son of the God of Israel
Jordan River flows on evermore
Bathe in glow of sunlight’s beating rays
They feel so lost and burned through our days
Stoner caravan emerge from sandsea
Earthling inserts to chalice the green cutchie
Groundation soul finds trust upon smoking hose
Assembled creedsmen rises prayer-filled smoke
Raise up seer’s Holy Prophecy
Lets down on upon years of the sun now feeds
Seed of Eden fall on nurtured soil
Onward caravan prepare new bong

Weed-Priests creedsman chant the right (not sure wut comes after priests but its only one word)
Judgement soon come to Mankind
Green Herbsmen serve rightful king
Hemp seed caravan carries

The molten fire flowed up toward Zion
Flight of the Nazarene to seek the Cheribum
Rides out believer with the spliff aflame
Marijuanaut escapes earth to cultivate

Grow-Room is church temple of the new stoner breed
Chants Loud-Robed priest down on to the freedom seed
Burnt offering redeems – completes smoked deliverance
Caravans’ stoned deliverance
The caravan holds to Eastern Creed - Now smokes believer !
The Chronicle of the Sensimillian

Drop out of life with bong in hand
Follow the smoke toward the riff-filled land
Drop out of life with bong in hand

Thursday, September 20, 2012

No Gods, No Cops

 I've still been destroying my ears listening to +HIRS+ ever since I've invaded their home turf of Philly. I've yet to hang out and burn a fat joint with the two dudes in the band, but my time will come. In the meanwhile, I'll continue listening to their 100 song discog and having my face crushed in. Starting with the one sided 7" I posted previously, this LP goes on a drum machine grind spree. My favourite albums featured on here are the aforementioned one sided 7", their all covers split with Hulk Smash and their Dimebag 5.5" that had soundclips of the late Sir Dime and a Pantera cover medley that DESTROYS. This discog also chronicles the band's career with mentions of their short Australian tour this summer in the song "Gaycation" and just a shit load of ripping drum machine grind. Overall the lyrics are acute and to the point, the drum machine doesn't sound fucking stupid, the vocals are raw and tortured and the guitar playing just plain rips. These dudes fucking shred and grind then lay down massive amounts of groove when the time is right. The way grind should be.
 It becomes apparent pretty quickly that +HIRS+ is a Big Boys style crossing dressing, gay band. Especially once doing some internet research, and talking to one of the gay dudes you work with that has seem the band multiple times. I think that's fucking awesome. Not enough people are open with who they are and what they are about in the DIY grind scene. The guitar player from Cretin (Martina Ramierz) getting a sex change blew my mind and made me stoked to be able to tell people about it. That opens up all sorts of new doors for our beloved scene to flourish. 

Getcha' Pull!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


 Not a post about the band of the same name. This is simply a reminder that anyone saying they are a fan of fast music needs to destroy their ears with this band. I'm not going to re-write the Wiki or what anyone else has ever said about their "discography" so just listen to this gold example of proto-everything fast music related. Short fiercely political songs played fucking super intense with tons of energy that spawned fastcore, grind, power-violence and all the fun stuff. The best bands ripped these guys off, namely Napalm Death and of course Drop Dead. I only say this because ND do fucking sick covers of these guys. Check out their "Leaders Not Followers" albums. Anyway, listen to this, get fucking stoked and stage dive.

All. Day.

Carved Out

  The best part of being back in the shitty part of Ohio that I was in is that I got to see some close friends of mine all the time. The dudes I would hang out with when I was a kid and still living in houses with a band and going to shows non-stop. I still listen to some of the bands those dudes are in (Ringworm, what's up) and it's awesome to see them still putting out music. Two of those friends started a new band called Carved Out that is heavy as fuck. They sort of play crusty tough guy hardcore with metal as fuck vocals. I'd say their biggest influences are Tragedy, cannabis, d-beat hardcore, Cleveland and NY style hardcore beatdown parts. I love that the songs are short, fast and still balls heavy. Absolutely worth checking out.

Who fucking cares?

Monday, September 3, 2012


 So my good bro Mike plays in a sweet thrash band you should probably listen to. They're called Hedlok and they rip. Short old school thrash that's punk as fuck. This is a demo so know it's a little sloppy and the guitar solos are a bit weak but Hedlok still rips. I'd rather see these dudes play in a living room or basement and party then see Mayhem at a huge festival any day of the week.

Unholy Thrash Metal
Wrestling Gimmicks Are My Favourite

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Workday Song To Do Bong Rips To

Like, Heavy Metal Dune or something...dude
 Yeah, so I finally got into doom metal a little bit. I've already talked about YOB before and now I can't stop listening to this fucking stupid long song by Sleep. It's like a one hour long Black Sabbath doom riff with way more sweet metal vocals by Al Cisneros. They find a sick riff and ride that riff into the ground carving out a soundwave of groove that could possibly melt a house if played with the right amplification system. All Cisneros' bass is pushed super far in the mix like their forefathers with Geezer Butler in Black Sabbath. And then the fucking sick guitar solos by Matt Pike, ESPECIALLY at around 14:30. The whole band seriously rocks the fuck out and you don't even have to do bong rips to dig the unparalleled jamming. Fuck Phish and Trey Anastasio, this is real jamming. Sleep were heavy and uncompromising. Try writing an hour long song at the pinnacle of your band's career and never playing it live. Fuck.
 The very first picture in the video, that's Heavy Metal-esque with hooded, masked figures wandering the desert that became the cover for the 2012 re-release? Perfect visual for this song. If that picture had a whole story line and movie, this is the soundtrack. Before I talk about how you should smoke lots of high quality cannabis and listen to this I'm going to say you need to read all the lyrics to it as well. My words can not describe their level of raditude, one must experience everything on their one's own. Welcome to Jerusalem.

Lungsmen unearth the creed of Hasheeshian

Saturday, June 30, 2012

This One's for Fun. It's Called "Never Surrender!"

  I have posted about Negative Approach before, quickly reviewing their 10 song 7".  It really is a nearly flawless piece of music history tightly rolled up in a tiny package to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting. Negative Approach then put out some tracks on a couple of comps and finally an LP called "Tied Down". On this sweet ass DVD entitled "Reproach DVD Vol. 1" you see the band evolve from a very early show(their first?) with only songs from demos to a full on wrecking force destroying venues full of young hipsters and punks. There are three full sets present, including a bonus song I talk about below, each showing off the bands growing strength and expanding repertoire of songs including favourites of mine such as "Can't Tell No One", "Pressure", "Live Your Life", "Whatever I Do", "Lead Song" and "Lost Cause".

 Here's a link to them doing a fucking amazing cover of "Never Surrender" by Blitz. They do this three different times on the DVD, and to be honest I NEVER get tired of it. I have a deep seeded love of covers, and this one fucking rules. I have this link starting at the cover because the rest of the video is a mostly poor rip of the DVD. When I watch my copy it's not nearly as bright and the sound is much better. You need to see this either way.
 Never say why, never say die, it's always worth another try"!

Also the very last song on here is ANOTHER cover. This time it's the Misfits playing a show in MI and having John Brannon(with hair!?!) helping them vocals for a rendition of "Can't Tell No One". Brannon's voice overpowers everything else that has mics attached to it, although you can hear Danzig in the backround during vocal pauses yelling "Go!" in true Danzig fashion.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

LP To Do Massive Bong Rips To All Week

 Hey guys so I have some cannabis left over from my week long fighting and camping excursion I briefly talked about in my last post. So I'm packing that mother fucker up and getting ripped to give a real update. Sorry it's been so long bros. Did you like the Le Scrawl cover I posted? 
 For sure a band I can't listen to all the time, much like Fugazi or the Deftones, but Gojira is one that always get my blood stirring and metal ear perking up. "From Sirius to Mars"  is their third full-length album and it came out around seven years ago. They also released "The Way of All Flesh" in 2008, which I thought was a huge fucking disappointment. To be expected though, people were giving out Metallica and Meshuggah as comparisons. Those are correct assessments however and is probably a contributor to why their sound evolved on the 2008 follow up and on their new album "L'Enfant Sauvage". Which is French for something, who fucking speaks French today?
 Sonically they most resemble early Metallica in song length, format and some atmosphere as well as Strapping Young Lad for production, atmosphere and volume of emotive energy. Gojira and SYL straddle that line of progressive and thrash where Metallica early on were straight thrashers giving little thought to studio time and dynamics. Gojira utilized their time, in what I'm assuming is a secluded studio somewhere in the rolling green hills of France, to create a soaring epic display of melody, song writing and fucking heavy metal in their grandiose masterpiece, "From Mars to Sirius". Like SYL, Gojira do a perfect mix of crushing metal riffs with technicality, clean singing and harmony, then they find a heavy groove and just carve that mother out. This technique recalls SYL again as well as Pantera whom Gojira have a lesser affinity for. It's so beautiful to listen to after you've taken five or six huge BRs(bong rips). My favourite tracks can be narrowed down to "From the Sky", "The Heaviest Matter Of the Universe" and "In the Wilderness". They do a good job of displaying all the things the band is capable of doing well.
 Like I mentioned earlier, I can't listen to Gojira all the time like I can Insect Warfare or Black Sabbath or the Bad Brains. I have to be in a particular "mood" to really get into it. Maybe it's partially because of the clean singing with just straight up slow parts intermixed with the mid paced riffs amongst the blitzing metal shrapnel. Too much filler and not enough shrapnel makes for a boring hand grenade, catch my drift Deftones? Gojira sort of lye in the middle between Dream Theater and Between the Buried and Me if that makes any sense. Maybe it's the overuse of that fucking click-track, pro-tools out, sterile triggered double bass. I can not STAND it when metal bands ruin a perfectly good concept like mid paced double bass and man does Mario Duplantier ruin it. Take a fucking break from that shit man, learn something new and interesting. There's even a part in "Heaviest Matter.." where he could play a real short sustained blast, but no. He plays all fucking mid paced and like a girl. Not okay. Not metal enough!
 With all of these minor quirks, good and bad, this album is still hauntingly beautiful and utterly crushing all at once. Except the song "Unicorn" and "World to Come". Delete them and never bother wasting your time. Nevertheless this is a great album for getting stoned and going on long bike rides or epic road trips. Do yourself a favor, download this and give it two or three full listens before casting it aside like you did all those old Fear Factory CDs we wanted to be good, but really never were.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Hey How Ya Doin', Sorry Ya Can't Get Through, Why Don't You Leave Your Name, And Your Number, And I'll Get Back to You

 So I have computer access now, I've been without for some time now. I can do things like download music, add new music to my iPod and take music off. All good things. But why can I do all these now?
 Because I live in mother fucking Philidelphia now. Moved here Sunday. So anyone thinking I'm still in KS or OH....

 I moved here on Sunday night after spending a week at Ragnarok, a foam fighting event. I was pimping with newly built gear, new garb and a better attitude then ever. For the first time in my 10 year fighting career I used a spear. A short 6 ft. harpoon that was difficult adjusting to at first but after two days I began becoming a menace with it. Now I need to add one to my personal arsenal.

 This year also marked something new for me. I started a squireship under a knight I greatly respect, Sir Rune of Mittlemarch. Here's a picture of us together on Wednesday. He's the burly mother fucker on the right side of the picture with the chain mail.
 Over the next two years(minimum) I will truly show my dedication to the sport , myself, my knight, my local realm, my fighting, my attitude and my garb. I will step up my game in all aspects be it physical, mental, personal, in game, out of game, on the field or off. I will learn what it means to be exemplary and how to lead by being exemplary. I'm pretty excited about it.

 Once I get settled in with a job and all that stuff I can start updating again talking about bands and shit. Good vibes.

 As a new chapter begins, the others remain barely open only to glance back at what's happened. Memories of blast beats, Fugazi, fucking epic pocket stabs.